keep calm and keep your chaddis on..

look what I found!

So recently my dancer friends told me that a couple Indian farts did not like the fact that my friends who are Americans (this is what Indian people call Caucasian Americans, it's a very general term....even us Indian people who have been born and brought up here do this) wear Indian clothes. Some Indian turds didn't like the fact that my dancer friends wore Indian clothes unbelievable. So I've decided now that if I catch these Indian turds wearing jeans, I'm gonna rip their pants off cause I don't understand why you wearin American clothes. Ima rip your pants off and hang your chaddis on the trees. goddamn I'm so tired of this dumb fucking bullshit. 

this Keep Calm and Carry On english breakfast tea from Marshall's is quite good....only thing the British did right..

There comes a point in time when work becomes your lover. There is one and only relationship and that is with work. yay > : {

I would like to Introduce you to the New Acquisition. The desire to get out of the house for a little bit today led me to a magical moment. I would like to introduce you to my babies: Vince Camuto black heels I had first eyed during Christmas at Marshall's with my friend. They were $49.99 at the time and just now I saw the only pair left on the clearance table for guess how much (see picture!) And they're a size 8.5. It was Meant to Be. <orgasm>

why is New Jersey still stuck in the 90's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been looking for this picture!!!!!! 

Hopefully at the end of this life or the next one, I'll finally be able to leave this fucked up samsara and dissipate into snow lain on the Himalayas. Get me the fuck outta here. 

My fortune today: A day without smiling is a day wasted : ) My mom's fortune: Keep your goals away from the trolls. Aaaahhhaahahaaaaa!!!!!! Yea Hunan Kitchen!!!!!!

Grande Blonde Roast does NOT taste like Pike place Mr. Barista. #nevercompromiseonblonderoast

Get ready for Mars retrograde in Libra March 1st: http://darkstarastrology.com/mars-retrograde/

Yeh nahin ke yahin aate hue aaye hain yahaan....ham kahin aur ko jaate hue aaye hain yahaan....

Time for Mexican folk art

Too awesome!!!!!! http://wetindeyng.blogspot.se/2014/02/pretty-girl-seeking-rich-husband-got.html?m=1. Personally I like men in tech services.

Consciousness is HARD work <sweatin bullets>

Risking death to write poetry: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/magazine/why-afghan-women-risk-death-to-write-poetry.html?pagewanted=all

Hallelujer: http://www.policymic.com/mobile/articles/82223/this-comedian-brilliantly-destroys-the-myth-of-reverse-racism-in-less-than-3-minutes

Peaceful places in the world :) http://travel.amerikanki.com/most-peaceful-countries-in-the-world/

I still can't believe that Padma Lakshmi married that crybaby....why oh why did she do that to herself unbelievable..

thank you to this amazing woman for making me face reality: http://www.endofound.org/video/Nurse-Conference-2013-Padma-Lakshmi/411 ~ In celebration of Endometriosis Awareness coming up in March ~

How much I have not loved myself is staring blatantly at me these days. So much anxiety and all for nothing. I don't have to suffer and I don't owe anybody anything. Realizing that the need to love myself and to listen to my body is a MUST if I'm going to survive and have well-being ~

Time flies. Fulfill your dreams #NOW

oh shit I didn't apply for medical insurance yet....am I gonna get arrested....#breadpakodeforlunch

Pasado by Pablo Neruda

We have to discard the past
and, as one builds
floor by floor, window by window,
and the building rises,
so do we go on throwing down
first, broken tiles,
then pompous doors,
until out of the past
dust rises
as if to crash
against the floor,
smoke rises
as if to catch fire,
and each new day
it gleams
like an empty
plate.
There is nothing, there is always nothing.
It has to be filled
with a new, fruitful
space,
then downward
tumbles yesterday
as in a well
falls yesterday's water,
into the cistern
of all still without voice or fire.
It is difficult
to teach bones
to disappear,
to teach eyes
to close
but
we do it
unrealizing.
It was all alive,
alive, alive, alive
like a scarlet fish
but time
passed over its dark cloth
and the flash of the fish
drowned and disappeared.
Water water water
the past goes on falling
still a tangle
of bones
and of roots;
It has been, it has been, and now
memories mean nothing.
Now the heavy eyelid
covers the light of the eye
and what was once living
now no longer lives;
what we were, we are not.
And with words, although the letters
still have transparency and sound,
they change, and the mouth changes;
the same mouth is now another mouth;
they change, lips, skin, circulation;
another being has occupied our skeleton;
what once was in us now is not.
It has gone, but if they call, we reply:
'I am here', knowing we are not,
that what once was, was and is lost,
is lost in the past, and now will not return.


Tenemos que echar abajo el pasado
y como se construye
piso por piso, ventana a ventana,
y sube el edificio
asi, bajando vamos
primero tejas rotas,
luego orgullosas puertas,
hasta que del pasado
sale polvo
como si se golpeara
contra el suelo,
sale humo
como si se quemara,
y cada nuevo dia
reluce
como un plato
vacio:
no hay nada, no hubo nada:
hay que llenario
de nuevas nutriciones
espaciosas,
entonces, hacia abajo
cae el dia de ayer
como en un pozo
al agua del pasado,
a la cisterna
de lo que ya no tiene voz no fuego.
Es dificil
acostumbrar los huesos
a perderse,
los ojos
a cerrarse
pero
lo hacemos
sin saberlo
todo era vivo,
vivo, vivo, vivo,
como un pez escarlata
pero el tiempo
paso con trapo y noche
y fue borrando
el pez y su latido:
al agua al agua al agua
va cayendo el pasado
aunque se agarre
a espinas
y raices:
se fue se fue y no valen
los recuerdos:
ya el parpado sombrio
cubrio la luz del ojo
y aquello que vivia
ya no vive:
lo que fuimos no somos.
Y la palabra aunque las letras tengan
iguales transparencias y vocales
ahora es otra y es otra la boca:
la misma boca es otra boca ahora:
cambiaron labios, piel, circulaciones,
otro ser ocupo nuestro esqueleto:
aquel que fue en nosotros ya no esta:
se fue, pero si llaman respondemos
'Aqui estoy' y se sabe que no estamos,
que aquel que estaba, estuvo y se perdio:
se perdio en el pasado y ya no vuelve. 

Like the namak ajwan pronthees I made for myself :) #painfulcrampsday

This Mercury retrograde has proven to be very challenging internally. Feeling VERY dark, VERY moody and shed a couple tears today cause I finally couldn't keep it all in: http://darkstarastrology.com/mercury-retrograde/

I'm finally going to Thailand! http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4519604?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Just saw Labor Day #bawling!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and I took biology in high school you ignorant doctor Indians MUUUAAAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA. maybe the temple should take a math class. 

ain't gonna let the old fat white man stop me from doing what I wanna do yea bloody

so the update is that I wasted about fifty dollars on having transcripts sent to local colleges thus far (two of them did not get back to me about what I need to do to satisfy their prerequisites even though they said they would a couple months ago). I only applied to one school and got rejected because I did not have college algebra (aaaahhahhahahhahhahhahaaaaaaaa!!) bloody on my transcript. Thank God the application was free. So now I changed my mind and decided to do my teacher certification in physics instead because this way I do not have to take college algebra and geometry and god knows what else. This route is at-least-headache free. YEA!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k18GzeCpkTY

Lol: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4757404?ir=Women

this woman is my hero: http://thegrio.com/2014/01/31/thegrios-100-tanya-fields-activist-for-food-justice/

94 more dollars for an ebook for class....sigh..

so I'm going on a road trip with my girlfriends soon. we are going to drive together, sing songs loudly in the car, guffaw whenever we want, drink coffee, hump everything in sight and basically be each others' stress releases and creative juice. I cannot wait. I love going for long, long drives and seeing trees for miles on end and being one with nature with loved ones. Luckily, my digestive system is being cleansed before I go. When nature calls, it calls this is the spiritual life.

OHHHHHHHH I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU LIKE YOU WANT ME TO AND I'LL HOLD YOU TIGHT BABY AAALLLL THROUGH THE NIGHT I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYAAYYAYYAYYAYAAAAAA

OH BALLE BALLE OH BALLE BALLE OH BALLE BALLE NI TOL PUNJABAN DI OH BALLE OH BALLE!!!!!!!!!!

eat pizza: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/10/italian-food-better-life_n_4747260.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

See this is what sadly happens, so scary. Personally I liked the final look I thought it was quite artistic: http://dailycurrant.com/2014/02/08/man-responsible-for-olympic-ring-mishap-found-dead-in-sochi/

Shared by the Endometriosis Awareness campaign on FB. I feel like I've spent my entire life calculating how much energy I have, will have or will not have: http://invisibleillnessbattle.wordpress.com/2013/09/07/6-things-about-chronic-pain-you-didnt-know-you-knew/

Hallelujer: I hate this effing world: http://m.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/02/what-great-artists-need-solitude/283585/

today I fed my soul by stopping at Gaby et Jules for the first time in Sq Hill and getting three macaroons: pistachio and almond for me and white chocolate with basil for mom. Then I got my fill of Cochin Masala Chai and some crystallized ginger in dark chocolate. one must feed one's soul to avoid drought. 

Creating music today : )

Lord Ganesha, the Remover of Obstacles <3
Pic: Tom Moran

Artistry: http://www.boredpanda.com/pixel-art-from-found-objects-famous-paintings-plastic-classics-jane-perkins/

http://www.fedupusa.org/2014/02/28-signs-that-the-middle-class-is-heading-toward-extinction/

I'm movin to Tennessee. I'll finally get to see the Elephant Sanctuary!! <3

Anybody want 2 free years of community college? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/05/education/tennessee-governor-urges-2-free-years-of-community-college-and-technical-school.html?hpw&rref=education&_r=2

I'm having a moment where I'm feeling really depressed, have little self-esteem, am wondering what the hell I'm living for, skipped class, sinuses are stuffy (roads are bad anyway), cannot concentrate whatsoever and am trying to finish a take home exam. And my tid is jiggling. My struggling friend is on my mind and there are two more events I have to create in the near future and I made the ceiling leak today. Drinking coffee and looking forward to daal, masala chicken and rice for dinner and listening to sad hindi songs. Only Jagjit Singh can give hope to the sad heart. One continues on doing what they have to do even if they don't know why. #thisislife

15 Thigs that Emotionally Strong People Do: http://elitedaily.com/life/15-things-that-emotionally-strong-people-dont-do/

This is the right thinking: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12198/10-awesome-life-changes-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-losing-weight.html

how a narcissist is considered charming I still do not understand: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201106/how-spot-narcissist

Hey everybody look I'm waiting for the bus I'm so responsible yea bloody

Stupid sexist fart judge. You shouldn'tve eaten so much for breakfast idiot cause then you wouldn't be farting so much.

4 dollars a fucking day at the stupid lot at the bottom of the hill which I couldn't even park at cause I couldn't walk up the hill cause my plantar fasciitis was SO bad so I had to park on the street some days and got a few tickets and when I contested them the stupid fart judge said 'you should have gotten a friend to drop you to work if you couldn't take the bus.' what?!???!??!?! eff the parking court. I got students to tutor after work And dance practice to go to I'm not gonna wait for the fuckin bus. Fuck fuck fu fuck fuck fu fuckin fuck fucker fuck. Girl's gotta pay her rent bloody hell.

and guess who got paid every week [by UPMC.] the dork company who hired three of us to work on this stupid assignment.

how the fuck does the CEO of UPMC make half a million dollars a month. the WORST thing I ever did was to work in their [UPMC's] legal department for three months on a temp assignment (J.D. REQUIRED) making $14/hr full time and also pay for parking. the dumbest legal department you have ever come across I tell you: https://www.facebook.com/MakeItOurUPMC

It takes a really long time to see this but I'm beginning to see how I really am responsible for the peace in my life. I can decide how much peace I want to feel in any given moment. I'm actually starting to feel it. I'm actually starting to see how my thoughts affect the current moment. I feel like I have more control of the moment.